Its late.. i havent upadted this journal for awhile now, and im mixed with emotions deep down my heart. Everything is new, as im listening to "wo bu pei" the piano verison... i feel somewhate sad but yet, alive. I havent had this feeling for a loooong time now. I feel alive, im being alive, i dont know why it has never crossed my mine, but its true. On monday, i was just siting outside my visual arts building, having a smoke and i realize... for once Im actually being myself, i feel true to myself, i feel reborn! It could have been because i was wearing something different from my normal style and smoking at the same time, but i feel that iv finally found my place. I know ill have to leave this place and i cant stay forever... but it seems im really going to treasure it here, things usually never work out for me, but it seems it just might. Deep down inside my heart feels like its drowning, full of sorrow... combined with abit of passion... for? for her? what are we really? what are we really going to become? lovers or special friends? i know deep down i love her, but its something that must be sealed, sometimes its just not right, sometimes we are just not ment for each other, or is it? what is fate... and what does her heart say? i just want to cry.